Visiting in the Heat and Travelling Home

Joyce and I had an uneventful trip home yesterday. She is an excellent traveller.

San Antonio was wonderful if you can tolerate the heat. I read somewhere that it is growing at the rate of 30,000 people a year. It is one of those cities that has no natural boundary surrounding it to prevent growth. Miles of open land Neast toward Houston, west toward El Paso and north but west of I-35. I has been growing so fast that just normal commercial infrastructure is limited. It was five miles from Missy's house to the only gasoline outlet in the area. All that being said, where she lives has a clean fresh look to it. I can see why so many people like to live there. Did I mention it was hot? Dry too.

For all of us, it was as good a visit as you can have. We did some sightseeing, a lot of eating and Joyce got to spend some quality time with Missy and Marie. It took Joyce the first night to become comfortable in the house and from then on, while she paced some, she also sat for long stretches. She seems much calmer toward the end of the injection cycle than towards the beginning. The other side, to me, is she is less cooperative near the end of the cycle, although Missy had a lot of success with her. We go back to Lake Charles for an injection Thursday on our three week cycle.

While our trip was uneventful travelling with Joyce can present some problems. Society's norms have no problem with a mother taking a little boy into a women's restroom or a man taking a baby in the men's room. Unless the facility is a one at a time restroom, everyone is uncomfortable if I go in with Joyce or take her in with me. Luckily she is able to still go by herself but when she does I don't know if she needs anything or actually does the business needed. Believe me there are no certainties. When we arrived in San Antonio her "depends" was still dry. When returning I had to change it after arriving home.

This past week convinced me that we can still travel and that it is good for both of us to do it periodically. It certainly refreshed my spirits and allowed us to visit some extended family as well as close family. Again the enbrel treatments have allowed us to do this by making Joyce more self sufficient than she was last December. Thank you all

PAL

Heat, The Alamo, The Riverwalk, Mexican Food and Family

Joyce's condition has pretty much stabilized. We are continuing injections on a three week cycle. Hopefully she doesn't regress. I realized that I had converted this blog from "trying enbrel to improve" to "life with Joyce and Pal after enbrel did its thing". You are all welcome to still read it. One reason I continue this is it is easier to convey what is going on to my three daughters without leaving out facts when telling the story three times.

Saturday was a hot, busy day. We all went to the center of San Antonio, parked and began walking to see the sites. Our first site was the Alamo and I am always one that says historical or natural sites are far better appreciated in person than in pictures. The Alamo is the heart and soul of Texas and they treat it with the reverence it truly deserves. The grounds inside were as beautiful as any I saw anywhere in San Antonio. It is the one place in America that truly gives meaning to dying for freedom.

From there we walked over and down to the Riverwalk. Again being there is necessary. The best way I can describe it is that there are two parts to downtown San Antonio. The upper part has the streets, the office buildings and all the hustle and bustle. Then about two levels below are the waterways (river) with sidewalks on each side and cafes, eateries, shops and lots of benches. You can't hear or see the cars or even the streets from the sidewalks. It was hot but mostly shady so we bought a tourist boat ride that gave us a two mile tour of everything. I was glad we didn't try to walk it. After exiting the boat we walked back looking for an eaterie for lunch. They all were so crowded until we finally found an English Pub Theme that could seat us right away. I didn't realise how thirsty I was until she brought our drinks. The service was slow and when we finally finished we headed back to the car which entailed climbing quite a few steps. Joyce usually out walks me easily but she was even dragging by the time we got up to street level. We had to walk a couple of blocks over to get to the parking garage. Did I say how hot it was? When we arrived back at Missy's house we all crashed for a couple of hours.

After refreshing, we headed back out to meet my cousin Gat and his wife Pam at La Fogata. He took us there because it is supposed to be one of the best Mexican restaurants in the area. They have been there for thirty years. Pam's daughter and daughter's husband came also and it really turned out to be a wonderful fun experience. The food was delicious and interaction around the table was really what family is all about. Joyce seemed to enjoy everything. We said our thanks and goodbyes and headed back to Missy's. Needless to say we were all exhausted and went to bed shortly thereafter. It had been a long, tiring but very enjoyable day.

Today we rested and packed. Tomorrow Joyce and I drive back to Baton Rouge and a more sedate way of life. It was a good trip for Joyce and I. I plan to take more as long as she can keep up. I don't think we would be doing this without enbrel injections.
PAL

San Antonio.....Brazilian

San Antonio brings up a lot of thoughts; The Alamo, Texas, The Riverwalk, USAA, the Air Force and prosperity. "Brazilian" brings up different thoughts; Jesus on the Mountain, Carnaval, the Amazon River, beach volleyball, in internet jokes a number greater than a trillion and in thong bikini circles a special wax job. No where in any of these thoughts or recollections are the two associated.
We are visiting in San Antonio with my daughter Missy, who has only been here two months. Last night she suggested we go out to eat and found a place nearby called the Brazilian Steak House. It was an experience we all will remember a long time. No guys!!! Not many ladies serving. Their format is a central buffet salad bar which included marinated asparagus and artichoke hearts along with different kinds of lettuce, tomatoes, sliced onions, various cheeses, dried tomatoes and many kinds of dressings. I can't even begin to remember or describe everything they had but it was all fresh. Unless you had been before all you could say was "what is this?" as you walked around the bar.
After you finish your salad they bring common side dishes to the table while they are giving you clean plates. Garlic Potatoes, Fried Bananas, Fried Polento and some mini cheese bread rolls. There is a little card for each diner that when turned one way it says bring me meat and when turned the other it says "I am taking a break" or "I am through". The meats included lamb, chicken, pork, sausage and beef. Some were cooked whole like a shoulder and some were served bacon wrapped like filet and chicken. It would come on large double skewers from which they would slide or slice off a small portion, usually two to four bites worth. One of your utensils was a small set of ice cube tongs which you used to assist the server with your serving as he sliced it off. There was no limit as to what you ate and you were not required to try everything. If memory serves me well, remember I am a senior, there were twelve different meats and basically all were grilled or braised. The advantage of eating like this was variety first but just as important everything you ate was oven hot. I can honstly say that I didn't eat anything that wasn't delicious. Joyce was restless at first but when they started bringing out the meat we just loaded her up and she sat there and ate everything without once trying to get up.
No offense but I kept thinking that my son-in-law and his friend Kris could probably bankrupt this place in a week. We ate until we just didn't want anymore.
It was a little costlier than I am used to spending out for a meal. It ended up in total about $50.00 a person inclusive but it was well worth it. It was the only Brazilian Steakhouse any of us had ever eaten in. Next time Joyce and I come visit Missy you can guess where we will go eat. San Antonio Brazilian, has a nice ring to it don't you think?

It as an event that I just had to share

Even in trying times, life can really be good.

PAL

Family, Friends and Heros

Surprise, surprise, surprise as Gomer Pyle would say. Less than a week and another entry.
On our way to San Antonio, Wednesday, to visit Missy, Joyce was very calm and mostly quiet. I had a little time to reflect on how far we had come since the beginning of the year. As I thought about it, one thing that kept coming up was FAMILY. Without all of the efforts of our daughters and their husbands there is no way I could have made this happen. All of the encouragement from so many cousins. The numerous friends who constantly offer help whenever I need it. Even though we aren't blood related thry are all family to Joyce and I. In this world there is nothing more important than family. When things get really rough you never have to ask for help because before you could get the words out of your mouth family would know and be there doing it already. Of course I see this thru my eyes and know it was passed down generation to generation. I am one of the fortunate ones who has family and am able to see it work. I really feel sorry for those who don't have that support. As an individual you never really know how you will act until the real situation hits you in the face. I like to think that we all would do what was required if faced with the need. I don't believe hero's are made different than other people. I believe that hero's are just ordinary people who are thrust into extaordinary situations and just do what they have to do. I served with some of those in Vietnam. I have met, through this blog, so many people who are hero's or were hero's who sacrificed for someone they loved as long as needed. Some in need have passed on and some are still in need. This is the way we all should live. I see it on Joyce's side of the fanily as well as on mine. Many times it is just this bond that holds us together day by day. What I am trying to say is even though I am the one in the game I couldn't do this without your everyday support. Just knowing you are there is all that is needed.

Missy says that Joyce is doing well. The trees still get in the way for me to see the forest. It is good to know that what we are doing is having positive results.

Thank You All

PAL

Elephant in the China shop, Pal in the Beauty Shop

Nancy has been Joyce's hairdresser for longer than I can remember. She is a wonderfully sweet lady who patiently keeps Joyce's hair looking nice. Some time back it was apparent that I would have to "sit" with Joyce while she got her hair done. No more running around doing errands without Joyce for that hour. That is ok, I can sit better than I can do hair.

Nancy was in a small salon that made it almost like being at home. About two months ago, Nancy told me her Salon was closing and they were were moving up the road to a larger place that was actually closer to our house. The first time I took Joyce in was a culture shock to me. This place had separated cubicles, settees, sofas, fine upholstered chairs and four or five very attractive young ladies with big smiles to help anyone walking in to find their way to the proper location. If I hadn't known better it could have been a brothel from an old west movie with computers added in. Most of the customers were well dressed (not sure who they were trying to impress) and very prim and proper looking. I certainly provided a contrast walking in being male, older, heavy and dressed in shorts and Tiva's.

It isn't like they can hide me in a corner cubicle. I have to walk all the way to the back to help Joyce find and adorn a smock. Then walk all the way back up to Nancy's cubicle. There must be a Smile School they send all the employees to before they can work. They all bravely kept showing their teeth as we paraded through. After forty-five minutes in the chair we paraded all the way back to the shampoo room. Joyce doesn't like sitting still so I have to gently restrain her so that her hair gets washed and rinsed and her clothes stay reasonably dry. Then it is back through the gaunlet of eyes to Nancy for her to finish up. Actually, Joyce is very calm in the chair while Nancy works. Most probably the comfort of the long term association.

When we finished I still had to pay and Joyce had had enough and headed to the car. I spell "relief" as the look on those young girls faces as I was leaving. Luckily it isn't something we do everyweek. Some times in life you have to be someplace where you just feel out of place like an elephant in a china shop. That describes me getting Joyce's hair done. I think Nancy (bless her soul) sensed what I felt and on the second visit showed me some employee short cuts from front to back.

Joyce is holding her own, neither better nor worse. She has zero inhibitions so she is oblivious to any of the subtle social signs that we all read everyday. Over time the Salon will become more familiar with Joyce and I will feel more comfortable. Life is just a series of adaptations. Hopefully Medical Research can adapt into a cure.

Thanks to all who still follow the blog. Your support has helped more than you can ever know.

PAL

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Lake Charles

Everytime a change is made there is always the worry that it is the wrong move. With this disease there is no other way to be but keep trying different ways and meds. Last Thursday was the first injection on the 3 week cycle. To be truthful after 2 weeks I was seriously thinking that we had stretched the time out too far.
Then out of the blue, Joyce mellowed out and responded in a way that just gives you hope. She became much calmer starting Sunday the 5th and remained so all the way to and through the injection visit last Thursday. Even the Doc noticed and commented on how relaxed she was. In addition, she began responding to questions, asked of her, in a more appropriate manner, albeit, just yes and no responses, indicating at least a slightly improved interactive communication. One thing is certain, you have to have patience and give trials time to work before you draw conclusions. For now the 3 week cycle will stay in place and we will observe what develops.

In my younger life I had sufficient experience with dirty diapers. Of course those had tabs and i could physically hold legs etc. to manage removal without making too big a mess. Believe me there is a big problem trying to extricate a messy "depends" from an adult with shoes and shorts etc. Then all of a sudden it hit me . It was so simple, I just keep a large pair of sissors in the bathroom and cut the legs from the hip down on the outside. Presto minimum mess. Hope I didn't ruin your last meal but be sure to file this away in case you ever have to be a caregiver for someone with "depends"'

I want to thank all of you wonderful people who continue to send encouragement and who lift my spirits. With all the troubles in the world, it so refreshing to know first hand how big the human heart can be. God bless you all.

PAL

Monotony Doesn't Have To Be Bad

As we grew up from birth, we learned how to do things. Each of us being individuals, all do things slightly differently. We all do mostly the same things but maybe not in the same order. Upon arising some of us shower while others may shower the night before. Men will brush their teeth, shave, wash their face, comb their hair and get dressed. Women will skip the shaving, and apply make-up but will most probably do this and all the other items much more meticulously. When you are doing these things for yourself it becomes second nature, your mind wanders and you don't even think about what you are doing. When you are caring for someone else you have to think through all the steps and make sure events occur in a logical and workable order. Repeatability or monotony helps very much in the process of getting another dressed in the morning. It also allows you to observe if the person you are caring for has changed or is having difficulty doing things. With Joyce when things don't change, it tells me that she is holding her ground and that the injections continue to work. This is important because we are still trying to find the best frequency. At present we are on a 3 week cycle . If montony holds, we will maintain this cycle.

Thank you for all the prayers

PAL